July 28, 2010

Paris Apartment – journey from the bedroom to the bathroom

Back at the apartment I have noticed several bruises on the sides of my upper thighs. Upon reflection I know exactly how I got them. When I walk from the kitchen area to the bedroom I have approximately 8 inches  within to navigate to get to the bedroom. Sound confusing? It goes something like this. Pretend you have just walked into your very small, very hot apartment (because the air conditioning works two hours at a time). You make a hard left to enter the kitchen area and pull a cold drink out of the little refrigerator under the kitchen counter. As you raise your head up it bangs into the very pointy, very hard "thing" overhanging the counter. Stumble backwards two to three inches and do a quarter turn to the right. Realize you need to powder your nose (insert your own euphemism) . Do another quarter turn to the right, go into bathroom. Oooops, can't use that one. It is all blocked up (according to  rental agent it's all part of the charm of staying in a historic building. She also stated that some of the French buildings pre date one's in US by 200 years. Added plus ~ history lessons.) But back to the business at hand. Walk out of bathroom and turn right, yyykkkkeees! You just ran into the very pointy credenza in the kitchen. Ouch, bruise number one.Step six inches to the left. Walk two feet to the bedroom, OUUCCCHHHH. Just jabbed left thigh into metal hook that holds back bedroom curtains. Godd#$!* it!!!! Turn side saddle and inch your way across entire expanse of the bedroom i.e..the width of the bed, and turn left. Walk three feet thru the second bedroom. Now comes the tricky part. Angle your body to a perfect 90 degrees so as not to run into the armoire but additionally not fall on your face as you step down into the terrarium/chemical toilet bathroom. Look out window, wave at your neighbors and sit. Mon Dieu. 

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